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How to make yourself Happier

Read time: 3 mins

Find yourself a little down from time to time? Perhaps you’d like to be happier with your life, but you don’t know how.

It’s possible to achieve a greater level of happiness by finding your unique purpose in life says Ellen Shilling of Paramount Wellness. 

Your unique purpose however may not be what you think it is. 

“We automatically think of our jobs when we think of our unique purpose”, says Ellen. “But the reality is that whatever job we have – be it a doctor, a lawyer or a stay at home parent, it may not make us happy all of the time”. 

Family playing

What is your unique purpose?

How do we know what our unique intention is or should be?  It differs from person to person, so it is up to each of us to decide this for ourselves. In fact, our unique purpose could be how we live our life. “By living with the daily intention of making positive changes in our lives and living according to our own set of values, we’re fulfilling our unique purpose”, says Ellen.

We don’t have to make ground-breaking changes. Ellen suggests, positive changes for example could be the intention of smiling more each day or showing random acts of kindness to others or perhaps writing nicer emails.

Woman Laughing

Make small changes to create big ones

“Little acts like this bring joy to us because we’re giving joy to others,” she explains. “So instead of striving for material wealth, the perfect relationship or for status in our jobs, we are shifting our focus and aiming to make others happy. This in turn makes us happier in the long run.”

This sense of unique purpose should be combined, she says, with making a conscious effort to talk to ourselves in a compassionate way. 

“We need to learn to talk to ourselves as we would to a good friend,” says Ellen.  “Most of us are far too judgemental of ourselves.”

She’s aware of course that this is a lifelong aim and not something which happens overnight. “It takes years of practice,” she adds. “But the sooner you start the better.” 

Another useful practice for becoming happier is to cultivate what she calls a ‘toolkit’ for dealing with life.

Man working on Laptop

Create your toolkit

“No matter how much we talk lovingly to ourselves and cultivate our unique sense of purpose, we’re all going to experience ups and downs in life. It’s simply impossible to be happy 100 per cent of the time,” she says. “That’s why we need a way of dealing with the bad times.”

A toolkit is a way of coping with stress. For example, some people find it helps to run when they are stressed, for others meditation is key, while others turn to a good friend and talk it out.

“We’re all different and have different ways of coping,” says Ellen. “The important thing is to find a way that suits you. 

“It will not only help you to deal with stress and therefore increase your happiness, it will also give you the confidence of knowing that you can cope with whatever life throws your way.”

For more information or to contact Ellen visit: https://www.xhale.ie